Hearing and healing takes time

The last activation was better than the first.  It was more comfortable without the vestibular fullness feeling and I did get a greater range it seemed.  But I still have a long long ways to go.  I still struggle with distinguishing speech or even just recognizing speech.  At this point my hearing is way worse than it was before my surgery, the first surgery.  I am often tired and I say "what" a lot more.  I am also tired of saying "what" that I just find myself pulling away from conversations.  I find myself avoiding social situations because it is too exhausting to try and seems fruitless.  Similar to before the surgery but worse.

This is normal.  Everyone's response varies.  This is mine.  It will take some time to get better.  With further mapping (calibration) and brain adaptation the sounds and therapy I will start to differentiate sounds better and I will hear speech. 

I still struggle with dizziness.  Everything moves when I walk or move.  I feel that it is very slowly getting better but its still there.   Yet, I have started running again.  I can't run very far yet because it is exhausting to put up with movements while moving.  I don't even know if that makes sense.  I feel my body getting more used to it but I don't want it to, I want it to just go away.  This is probably permanent damage from the first surgery.   I hope my body compensates for it with more time.  My balance is also not there yet but I am wanting to do things like swimming, mountain biking, cycling.  I attempted to to get on my mountain bike the other day to ride in the neighborhood.  It took a few tries to get going but it really is like riding a bike.   I have learned I can only ride on smooth surfaces, it takes effort to get started, and I have to avoid traffic because of head turns.  I can't swim or do my road bike yet because it involves quick head turns which I can't do.  I can but it makes the world spin a bit more.  I will have to keep working on that one. 

I want to get back to work but I admit I am nervous, what if I can't hear enough to do my job?  What if I can't mentally keep up or its too exhausting trying so hard to hear?  I just need to get back into work and it will be better than I think.  I meet with my surgeon in the next few days.

In the meantime, summer has kicked me into full gear keeping up with my girls and their jobs, chores, activities.