Life takes us through interesting changes. These changes or events may be good or bad. One thing I have learned is that they happen for a reason. Sometimes we will find out what that reason is and other times, we will never know, in this life. For me, it always seems that challenges come in clusters. Apparently, Heavenly Father sees that I need a heavy duty dose every once in a while. I thought I would blog on just one of the issues I have been dealing with.

About a month ago I was just getting ready for the day when suddenly everything sounded different. I realized that I couldn't hear out of my "good" ear. My hearing wasn't wiped away completely, but definitely dropped with a strange tone and ringing. I felt a dizzying sensation with the noise around me. And it is just every day noise. Anxiety started creeping in. I have had this before, but it has been a while. I was scared to go through this again. I prayed to be able to get through the day with comfort and peace. Amazingly I made it through. I went in to my audiologist to confirm what I already knew, drop in my audiogram, also zero word recognition. I have had these episodes since childhood. I sometimes get severe dizzy spells that accompany the episodes. I can't stand music, not only does it sound terrible but it makes things move in my vision. This episode (I don't know what else to call it) usually take about a year to recover from but my hearing is never the same as before. As a teenager these episodes were more frequent but as an adult it hasn't happened much or not as severe, until now.

I went to an ENT who thought I should have a CT Scan. The CT scan ended up showing "Enlarged Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome." Of course this is something that the ENT, with 48 years of experience, had never came across before. If you know my family, we get this a lot. There's a few health issues that makes them say, "Oh this is rare.." It makes me think that my parents are unknowingly cousins and the genes have mutated. What triggers my episodes, no one really knows. The doctor recommends that I try avoiding intracranial pressure. Such as weight lifting and other exercises. Avoid picking up your kids. Avoid contact sports. He might has well said avoid living your life. Since this is not something people know a lot about including doctors and specialists, I don't feel that avoiding those things will help.
This syndrome progressively leads to complete hearing loss. It is a reality check for me. The hardest thing is thinking that I will never be able to hear my girls someday. Will they learn sign language to communicate with me? Will Jeff? I struggle day to day with my kids. It is a struggle to understand what they are saying and to have dizzying moments with the loud sounds they emit. At the same time, they are my therapy, they keep me busy and I love them. I have always been on the fence between the hearing and deaf culture. I struggle with understanding what others are saying. I also struggle with understanding sign language because I don't know enough of it and don't have anyone to use it with on a daily basis. I think that I got knocked off that fence a bit. I am attending to the deaf branch every other sunday. I am trying to teach myself from online websites. It is getting a little bit easier as I am getting used to my limitations. I haven't even blogged about my job, how much more difficult that has been. But I know that Heavenly Father knows me and He knows what I need to do in this life so that I can be a better person. Obviously, I need a lot of work. He has also given me a wonderful support system within my home, my husband. Can you imagine the patience required of him? He probably feels like a parrot repeating himself all the time. He is a good man and wants to learn this with me. Anyway, wish me luck on this particular part of the journey. :)


Stephanie said…
Thank you for posting about your journey. I know that we as a family do not help you enough with what we are saying. Just so you know, yes, I will learn sign language and so will your girls :O)I love you.
Jennilynn, I'm so glad that you posted about this. We don't mean to be insensitive but we are every time we forget your hearing loss. You are so amazng!! You do so well and you NEVER complain about our lack of understanding. I will try harder to include you in our conversations. We never feel like parrots when we repeat something you've missed out on. We love you!
Camille Rogers said…
I sitting her crying. I can't even imagine. What a positive attitude you have. I sure wish we lived closer, Jeremy would LOVE someone to practice ASL with. You are an amazing person, and I know you will be able to handle ANYTHING that happens.
The Gatherers said…
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Like the others have commented I think it's hard to really understand how hard it is for you because you do always have such a positive attitude.The Lord has a plan for you and he will give you and your family the strength to endure this journey. We love you and will keep you in our prayers.
I'm so sorry you're going thru this! I will keep you in my prayers. I know the Lord will give you strength and comfort when it is needed! Love you! ~Amy Lynn:)